Hey there, PoI readers! 💫

It's your favorite crypto connoisseur, Mochi, back with another serving of jaw-dropping digital drama! Today's menu features a record-breaking $1.4B Bybit hack, some North Korean hacking shenanigans, a peculiar White House furniture situation involving a billionaire's son, and BlackRock's domination of the Bitcoin ETF scene. So grab your favorite beverage, settle in, and let's dive into today's spiciest crypto headlines! 🌶️

INTEL BRIEF

🟧 Cryptocurrency exchange Bybit experienced a record-breaking $1.4 billion hack, allegedly by North Korea's Lazarus Group, but maintained operations and secured emergency funding while keeping withdrawals open.

🟧 The Lazarus Group, a North Korean hacking organization, has been linked to both the $1.4B Bybit hack and $29M Phemex hack through on-chain evidence, highlighting their growing dominance in crypto theft.

🟧 President Trump reportedly ordered the historic Resolute Desk removed for refinishing after Elon Musk's son allegedly wiped a booger on it during a White House visit.

🟧 New BlackRock's Bitcoin ETF has achieved over 50% market share of all US Bitcoin ETF holdings, reaching $56.8B despite recent outflows, while Bitcoin price shows resilience around $99,300.

Bybit Just Lost 1.4 Billion Dollars But Their Response Will Blow Your Mind

Bybit's CEO Ben Zhou channeled his inner action hero and kept the exchange running. In a move that had the crypto community raising their eyebrows so high they nearly left their faces, Bybit kept withdrawals open throughout the crisis.

Binance and Bitget swooped in with approximately 100,000 ETH of emergency funding. Though Binance's former CEO CZ clarified these weren't exactly company funds - think of it more like a bunch of wealthy crypto uncles passing the hat around.

Speaking of detective work, crypto sleuth ZachXBT claimed the bounty offered by Arkham Intelligence for identifying the perpetrators, pointing the finger at our old friends, the Lazarus Group from North Korea. The investigation linked the hack to previous exploits on Phemex and potentially BingX, suggesting these hackers are building quite the unfortunate resume.

Despite the massive hit, Bybit's reserves still stand at a robust $5.387 billion, though they did see their piggy bank get lighter by about $2.535 billion when you count the hack and subsequent withdrawals. But fear not! Hacken, Bybit's auditor, has confirmed that user funds remain fully backed, which is like getting a thumbs up from your financial doctor.

Record-breaking $1.4B hack hit Bybit, but exchange kept withdrawals open and secured emergency funding

North Korea's Lazarus Group identified as likely perpetrators, linking the hack to previous exploits

User funds remain safe according to auditors, with Bybit maintaining $5.387B in reserves post-hack

North Korean Hackers Just Pulled The Greatest Crypto Heist Double Play Ever

ZachXBT (seriously, someone get this person a cape) has connected some seriously suspicious dots between the Bybit hack and January's $29 million Phemex hack. How? The hackers did the digital equivalent of wearing the same outfit to two different crimes - they used the same wallet addresses for both heists! Talk about leaving a digital fingerprint!

The suspected culprit is none other than the Lazarus Group, North Korea's premier "totally-not-state-sponsored" hacking team. These folks have been busier than a bee in a flower shop, reportedly snatching up $1.34 billion across 47 incidents in 2024 alone. That's a 102% increase from their 2023 shenanigans!

According to Cyvers' CTO Meir Dolev, the Bybit hack wasn't just a smash-and-grab job. The attackers pulled off some serious social engineering, tricking signers into approving what they thought was a routine smart contract change. Spoiler alert: it wasn't routine at all!

The US, Japan, and South Korea are so concerned about these digital heists that they issued a joint warning about North Korean hackers. That's like getting a group text from your three most security-conscious friends saying "WATCH OUT!"

Lazarus Group linked to both $1.4B Bybit and $29M Phemex hacks through shared wallet addresses

North Korean hackers have stolen $1.34B in 2024 already, more than doubling their 2023 haul

International authorities are sounding the alarm on North Korean crypto theft funding weapons development

Elon Musks Kid Did Something So Wild It Made Trump Change 150 Years of White House History

Elon Musk's young son reportedly decided to contribute his own personal touch to presidential history. According to various media outlets, while Dad was busy talking DOGE with the president, little X was conducting his own... err... nasal excavation project, followed by an impromptu art installation on the historic desk.

Trump, who is reportedly about as fond of germs as cats are of water, has opted to temporarily swap out the booger-blessed bureau for the Georgian-style C&O Desk. In his social media announcement, he cleverly sidestepped the alleged incident, instead explaining that presidents get to choose from "1 in 7 desks" - though this might be the first time a president's hand was forced by a preschooler's personal hygiene habits.

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The temporary replacement isn't just any old piece of furniture - it's a walnut masterpiece with golden handles that was originally built for a railway mogul and later used by GezrgH.W. Bush. Meanwhile, the Resolute Desk, crafted from the timbers of the HMS Resolute and gifted by Queen Victoria in 1880, is off for what Trump calls "a very important job" - which we can only assume includes some very thorough sanitizing.

Historic Resolute Desk temporarily removed from Oval Office after alleged booger incident involving Elon Musk's son

Trump opts for the C&O Desk as replacement while the Resolute undergoes "refinishing"

This marks only the second time in history the C&O Desk has been used by a president

BlackRock Just Became The King of Bitcoin While Everyone Was Panicking About The Price

BlackRock, the Godzilla of asset management, has just pulled off something that would make even Satoshi's jaw drop - they've nabbed over 50% of the entire US Bitcoin ETF market!

We're talking about a whopping $56.8 billion worth of Bitcoin under their management, which is basically like owning half the toys in the crypto playground. And get this - the entire US Bitcoin ETF market is now worth more than $112 billion! That's more zeros than I can count without getting dizzy!

Despite this monster achievement, we've seen a three-day selling spree with outflows totaling $364 million, with BlackRock's IBIT taking a $112 million hit. Talk about a party pooper! Though let's be real, that's like losing pocket change when you're sitting on $56.8B.

Meanwhile, Bitcoin is doing its best "Keep Calm and HODL On" impression, hanging around the $99,300 mark despite the ETF drama. According to RedStone's COO Marcin Kazmierczak, this suggests that ETFs aren't the only cool kids moving the market anymore.

But wait! Plot twist number two! Samson Mow, the CEO of Jan3, is raising eyebrows about Bitcoin's sideways shuffle, calling it "manufactured" and about as natural as a $3 bill. It's like watching a crypto soap opera, but with more charts and fewer evil twins!

BlackRock's Bitcoin ETF now commands 50.4% of the US Bitcoin ETF market with $56.8B in holdings

Despite $364M in recent outflows across ETFs, Bitcoin price remains surprisingly stable

Industry experts are split on whether Bitcoin's current price action is natural or "manufactured"

! What a wild ride through today's crypto landscape, my dear PoI readers! 🎭 From billion-dollar hacks to booger-gate at the White House, we've covered it all. Whether you're fascinated by BlackRock's ETF dominance or keeping an eye on those sneaky Lazarus Group activities, there's never a dull moment in our digital world!

Remember to keep your crypto secure, your desks booger-free, and your spirits high! This is Mochi, your friendly neighborhood crypto chronicler, signing off until tomorrow's adventures!

P.S. Don't forget to share your thoughts, questions, and favorite crypto puns with us. very voice matters in the PoI community!

🍨📰 Catch you in the next issue! 📰🍨