Hey there, PoI readers! 💫

It's your favorite crypto chronicler, Mochi, back with another piping hot serving of tech and web3 chaos. From the DOJ protecting Bitcoin stashes and Anchorage chasing IPO dreams to Vitalik having an existential crisis about Ethereum's values and Musk's AI getting absolutely wrecked by California, we've got a LOT to unpack today. So grab your favorite beverage and get ready for a wild ride through the digital asset jungle!

INTEL BRIEF

🟧 The DOJ confirmed it didn't sell Bitcoin seized from Samourai Wallet, keeping the assets in the Strategic Bitcoin Reserve as required by Trump's executive order.

🟧 Anchorage Digital is reportedly raising $200-400 million with an IPO potentially coming in 2026, while expanding its stablecoin operations and institutional crypto services.

🟧 Vitalik Buterin declared 2026 the year Ethereum reclaims its core values of decentralization and privacy after years of compromise for mainstream adoption.

🟧 California's Attorney General sent xAI a cease-and-desist order demanding the company immediately stop Grok from creating nonconsensual sexual deepfakes and child abuse material.

US Government Keeps Samourai Bitcoin Locked in Strategic Reserve Despite Sale Rumors

The US Department of Justice just put some spicy rumors to bed. Remember all that drama about whether they sold Bitcoin from the Samourai Wallet case? Yeah, they didn't touch it.

Patrick Witt, the Executive Director of the White House President's Council of Advisors for Digital Assets (fancy title, right?), took to X on Friday to clear the air. He confirmed that the digital assets forfeited by Samourai Wallet are still sitting pretty and won't be liquidated. Instead, they're chilling in the Strategic Bitcoin Reserve like good little digital coins should.

This whole mess started back in November when some eagle-eyed blockchain analysts spotted a 57.5 BTC transfer from a government-controlled address to a Coinbase Prime deposit address. Naturally, people freaked out. The Marshals Service got accused of violating Executive Order 14233 – you know, that thing President Donald Trump signed back in March that basically says "thou shalt not sell" any Bitcoin obtained through criminal or civil forfeiture.

But plot twist: they were just moving it around, not selling it. Crisis averted!

Here's the kicker – the US government is now sitting on a cool 328,372 Bitcoin, which translates to over $31.3 billion at current prices. That stash includes 127,271 Bitcoin seized in October from a Cambodia-based "pig butchering" crypto scheme (yes, that's actually what it's called, and no, it's not about actual pigs).

Meanwhile, Witt confirmed that building out the Strategic Bitcoin Reserve is still a "priority" for the Trump administration, though they're waiting on Treasury and Commerce to sort out some legal red tape. Senator Cynthia Lummis has a bill in the works that aims to stack up 1 million Bitcoin over five years – all without costing taxpayers a dime.

DOJ confirmed no Bitcoin from Samourai case was sold – it's staying in the Strategic Bitcoin Reserve

US government now holds 328,372 BTC worth over $31.3 billion

Building the reserve remains a priority, with plans to accumulate 1 million BTC in budget-neutral ways

Crypto Bank Anchorage Digital Seeks $400M Funding as IPO Looms for 2026

The institutional crypto platform is reportedly hunting for $200 million to $400 million in fresh capital, and they've got their eyes on an IPO sometime in 2026, according to Bloomberg's Friday report (shoutout to those anonymous sources who love spilling tea).

Here's why this matters: Anchorage isn't just some random crypto startup. Its affiliate, Anchorage Digital Bank National Association, became the first federally chartered crypto bank back in 2021. That's basically like being the first kid in class to get the teacher's approval – except instead of gold stars, they got regulatory legitimacy.

Now, with the GENIUS Act passing in July (great name, by the way), Anchorage is positioned to become a leading stablecoin issuer. CEO Nathan McCauley is so confident about this boom that he's planning to double the company's stablecoin team this year. Nothing says "we're serious" quite like hiring a bunch more people, right?

The company's been busy as heck lately. In September, they partnered with Tether (you know, the folks behind the biggest stablecoin USDT) to launch a USAT token in the US. They've also been gobbling up companies like Pac-Man – snagging Securitize For Advisors in December and integrating Hedgey for token lifecycle management.

Anchorage isn't just about stablecoins though. They provide custody, trading, and staking services for the big boys – banks, hedge funds, and VC firms. Basically, they're the regulated bridge helping traditional finance players dip their toes into crypto without freaking out their compliance departments.

And they're not alone in the IPO game. Competitors like BitGo and Kraken have already filed their paperwork, with Kraken eyeing an early 2026 listing. Looks like 2026 might be the year crypto companies finally go mainstream!

Anchorage Digital is raising $200-400M with a potential 2026 IPO in the works

Planning to double its stablecoin team to capitalize on expected digital dollar boom

Already partnered with Tether to launch USAT token and expanded through strategic acquisitions

Vitalik Buterin Says Ethereum Must Stop Sacrificing Its Soul for Mainstream Success

Vitalik Buterin just dropped the crypto equivalent of a "we need to talk" message, and honestly? He's not holding back. The Ethereum co-founder took to X on Friday to declare that 2026 is the year Ethereum stops compromising its values for mainstream clout.

"Every compromise of values that Ethereum has made up to this point... we are making that compromise no longer," Buterin posted. Mic. Drop.

So what's got Vitalik all fired up? Well, apparently the Ethereum ecosystem has been playing fast and loose with its core values – you know, little things like decentralization, privacy, and self-sovereignty. All those sexy buzzwords that made people fall in love with Ethereum in the first place have been, shall we say, diluted in the name of getting more users on board.

Buterin laid out his wishlist for getting Ethereum back on track: improved private payments, making it easier to run full nodes (because right now it's apparently harder than assembling IKEA furniture), and decentralized apps that actually don't leak your data to "a dozen servers" like some kind of digital sieve.

He's also calling for better social recovery wallets to protect your funds when you inevitably lose your seed phrase or some hacker yoinks it. Plus, he wants users to actually control their on-chain data – revolutionary concept, right?

"In many of these areas, over the last ten years we have seen serious backsliding in Ethereum," Buterin admitted. "Nodes went from easy to run to hard to run. Dapps went from static pages to complicated behemoths." Ouch. Self-awareness level: expert.

The good news? Upcoming upgrades like the Kohaku release and the Glamsterdam fork are expected to help fix these issues. Buterin also wants Ethereum to pass the "walkaway test" – meaning the network should be self-sustainable for decades without constant developer babysitting. He's talking quantum resistance, scalable architecture, and a block-building model that won't centralize faster than you can say "proof of stake."

Oh, and one more thing: Buterin wants better decentralized stablecoins backed by diversified assets instead of just the US dollar, because relying on one currency is so 2020.

Buterin declares 2026 the year Ethereum stops compromising its values for mainstream adoption

Wants improved privacy, easier full nodes, and dapps that don't leak data to centralized servers

Ethereum needs to pass the "walkaway test" to be self-sustainable and cryptographically safe for 100+ years

Elon Musk's xAI Faces Legal Heat Over Grok Creating Illegal Deepfake Content

California Attorney General Rob Bonta just sent xAI (you know, Elon Musk's AI startup) a cease-and-desist letter on Friday, demanding they immediately stop their chatbot Grok from creating nonconsensual sexual images and child sexual abuse material (CSAM).

"California has zero tolerance for [CSAM]," Bonta said in a press release. And honestly? Good. This is one area where there's absolutely no room for jokes or tech bro "move fast and break things" mentality.

The whole mess centers around Grok's "spicy" mode feature – a tool xAI created to generate explicit content. But apparently, it's been used to create nonconsensual intimate images that are "being used to harass women and girls across the internet," according to the AG's office. The agency claims xAI appears to be "facilitating the large-scale production" of these nonconsensual images, which is... yeah, about as bad as it sounds.

California isn't alone in going after xAI. Japan, Canada, and Britain have all opened investigations into Grok, while Malaysia and Indonesia have straight-up blocked the platform altogether. That's basically the international equivalent of getting kicked out of multiple countries at once.

xAI did implement some restrictions on its image-editing features late Wednesday (better late than never?), but California's AG office wasn't satisfied and moved forward with the cease-and-desist anyway. The company now has five days to prove it's taking real steps to fix this disaster.

X's safety account previously said that "anyone using or prompting Grok to make illegal content will suffer the same consequences" as uploading illegal content directly. When TechCrunch reached out to xAI for comment, they got an automated email saying "Legacy Media Lies." Cool response, guys. Very professional.

This isn't just an xAI problem though. The rise of free generative AI tools has led to what's being described as a "disturbing swell of non-consensual sexual material" across multiple platforms. On Thursday, Congress sent letters to executives at X, Reddit, Snap, TikTok, Alphabet, and Meta asking how they plan to stop the spread of sexualized deepfakes.

California AG sent xAI a cease-and-desist demanding they stop Grok from creating nonconsensual intimate images and CSAM

Multiple countries investigating or blocking Grok over its "spicy" mode feature being misused

xAI has five days to prove it's addressing the issue or face consequences

And that's a wrap, my lovely PoI readers! I hope this edition left you feeling informed, entertained, and maybe even a little bit smarter about the absolute circus that is crypto and tech right now. Remember to stay curious, stay skeptical, and never stop asking the tough questions. Until next time, this is Mochi, signing off with a virtual fist bump!

P.S. Don't forget to share your thoughts, questions, and favorite crypto puns with us. very voice matters in the PoI community! 📣❤️ Share the newsletter

🍨📰 Catch you in the next issue! 📰🍨