Hey there, PoI readers! 🌟 

It's your favorite crypto connoisseur, Mochi, back with another serving of tantalizing tech and web3 news. From Brazilian legal battles and billion-dollar heists to Dogecoin drama and Bitcoin's potential sell-off tsunami, we've got a smorgasbord of digital delights to feast upon. So, grab your favorite beverage, settle into your comfiest chair, and let's dive into this week's crypto rollercoaster! Remember, in the world of blockchain, expect the unexpected! 🃏🗺️

INTEL BRIEF

🟧 A Brazilian Supreme Court judge suspends X in Brazil after Elon Musk refuses to comply with legal demands.

🟧 Crypto hackers have stolen over $1.2 billion in 2024, surpassing last year's figures for the same period.

🟧 Elon Musk and Tesla successfully defend against a $258 billion Dogecoin manipulation lawsuit.

🟧 Bitcoin faces potential $15 billion selling pressure from Mt. Gox creditors and US government holdings.

Brazilian Judge Throws X Off the Samba Parade

The land of samba and soccer just witnessed a tech tango that's got everyone buzzing. Supreme Court Justice Alexandre de Moraes, Brazil's legal eagle with an eye for online shenanigans, has dropped the hammer on our favorite bird-turned-X social media platform.

Why, you ask? Well, it seems Elon Musk, decided to play a game of "catch me if you can" with Brazilian authorities. The plot twist? Musk refused to name a legal representative for X in Brazil, essentially giving a digital middle finger to the country's legal system.

Justice Moraes has been on a mission, investigating the spread of misinformation during the tenure of former President Jair Bolsonaro. It's like a Brazilian version of "Fake News: The Reality Show," but with real-world consequences.

X's Global Government Affairs team, probably while chugging espressos and frantically typing, declared they wouldn't comply with "illegal orders to censor political opponents."

Musk, never one to shy away from a keyboard battle, has been firing off tweets faster than a Brazilian striker scores goals. He's called Justice Moraes "evil" and a "dictator," accusations that are about as subtle as a carnival parade.

But here's the kicker: as of now, Brazilian X users can still tweet their hearts out. It's like that moment when you're told the party's over, but the DJ keeps playing and nobody's leaving. With over 20 million Brazilian users, that's a lot of potential digital protesters.

Oh, and just to add some extra spice to this tech telenovela, Musk's satellite company Starlink got its Brazilian finances frozen.

Brazilian Supreme Court suspends X after Musk refuses to name a legal representative

Justice Moraes investigating misinformation spread during Bolsonaro's presidency

X still accessible in Brazil despite the order, affecting potentially 20 million users

Crypto Theft Hits $1.2 Billion in 2024!

According to a report from our friends at Immunefi (the crypto world's version of a digital neighborhood watch), crypto bandits have made off with a whopping $1.2 billion in 2024 so far. That's right, we're talking Billion with a 'B', as in "Boy, that's a lot of Bitcoin!"

This 15.5% increase from last year's haul. It's like watching a high-stakes game of "Catch Me If You Can," except instead of Leonardo DiCaprio, we've got anonymous hackers, and instead of checks, they're cashing out in crypto.

Now, before you start picturing a single mastermind twirling their mustache, let's break it down. We're talking about 154 individual exploits.

August saw a 94% drop in monthly hacks compared to July.

It's like the hackers all decided to take a collective vacation. Maybe they're all at a secret "Hackers Anonymous" retreat, sharing tips over piña coladas?

Here's where it gets interesting: while DeFi (Decentralized Finance) is usually the troublemaker at the crypto party, it's actually CeFi (Centralized Finance) that's been the biggest party pooper this year. As Mitchell Amador, the big cheese at Immunefi, puts it, "CeFi incidents can be more catastrophic." It's like comparing a pickpocket to a bank robber - both are bad, but one's likely to make bigger headlines.

So, what's a crypto enthusiast to do? Well, as our pal Mitchell says, "We must remain vigilant at all times." In other words, treat your crypto like you would your grandmother's secret cookie recipe - guard it with your life.

Crypto hackers stole over $1.2 billion in 2024, up 15.5% from last year

August saw a 94% drop in monthly hacks compared to July

CeFi remains the biggest vulnerability despite fewer incidents

Musk Wags Tail in Victory as Dogecoin Lawsuit Gets Buried in the Backyard

Elon Musk and Tesla have just moonwalked their way out of a $258 billion lawsuit.

Picture this: a group of Dogecoin investors, probably nursing some serious FOMO-induced wounds, decided to take the Dogefather himself to court. Their claim? That Musk and Tesla were the puppet masters behind a "Dogecoin Pyramid Scheme" that sent the meme coin's price skyrocketing 36,000% before it came crashing down like a failed SpaceX prototype.

Judge Alvin Hellerstein, channeling his inner crypto-skeptic, basically told the plaintiffs, "Dudes, it's just Twitter." Okay, he didn't say that exactly, but he did drop this gem: "These statements are aspirational and puffery, not factual." In other words, Musk's tweets about becoming the CEO of Dogecoin or sending a "literal" Dogecoin to the moon were about as serious as your drunk uncle's karaoke performance.

The judge went on to say that "no reasonable investor" would take investment advice from Musk's tweets. It's like saying, "If you're getting your financial tips from memes, you might want to reconsider your life choices."

Musk's lawyers, probably while high-fiving each other and chugging Red Bull, called the lawsuit a "fanciful work of fiction.”

Meanwhile, Dogecoin itself seems to be taking this all in stride. The price barely budged after the news, moving about as much as a sloth on vacation. It's still hanging out at around $0.10.

Judge dismisses $258 billion lawsuit against Musk and Tesla over Dogecoin manipulation

Court rules Musk's Dogecoin tweets were "puffery" and not reliable investment advice

Dogecoin price remains stable at $0.10 despite the legal drama

Bitcoin Braces for $15B Dollar Hangover as Mt Gox and Uncle Sam Eye the Bar

$15 billion tsunami of selling pressure heading our way, courtesy of two unlikely dance partners: the ghost of Mt. Gox past and good ol' Uncle Sam.

First up, let's talk about Mt. Gox, the OG of crypto exchanges that went belly-up. They're sitting on a cool 46,000 Bitcoin, worth a jaw-dropping $2.7 billion.

The US government, in its infinite wisdom, is hodling onto 203,000 Bitcoin, worth a staggering $12.1 billion. It's like they've been secretly mining in the basement of the White House or something!

Now, before you start panic-selling faster than a teenager ditching their Myspace account, let's take a deep breath. According to our friends at Kaiko, this Mt. Gox situation might be more of a tempest in a teapot. They reckon Kraken can handle these flows smoother than a barista pours a latte. Plus, those Mt. Gox creditors? They've been sitting on their hands tighter than a miser at a charity auction. When they got $4 billion worth of BTC in July, they didn't even flinch!

But here's the kicker: Bitcoin's been doing the crypto equivalent of the "Cha Cha Slide" – you know, one hop this time, slide to the left, slide to the right. It's been crabwalking under that $60,000 mark like it's afraid of heights. And September? Well, let's just say it's historically been about as kind to Bitcoin as a cat is to a mouse.

Mt. Gox and US government hold $15 billion worth of Bitcoin that could potentially hit the market

Despite previous distributions, Mt. Gox creditors haven't shown significant selling pressure

Bitcoin price remains under $60,000, with September historically being a tough month for the cryptocurrency

And that's a wrap, my lovely PoI readers! I hope this edition left you feeling informed, entertained, and maybe even a little bit richer (in knowledge, of course). Remember to stay curious, stay informed, and keep spreading the love. Until next time, this is Mochi, signing off with a virtual high-five! 🙌✨

P.S. Don't forget to share your thoughts, questions, and favorite crypto puns with us. very voice matters in the PoI community! 📣❤️ Share the newsletter

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